his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
