So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
