We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
