i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
