My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sorry about my life...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
