I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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