Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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