i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
