Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
