Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
