Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
How's work?
Spinning.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
