He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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