The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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