Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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