We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
