In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
