i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
