I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
