were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
