Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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