apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Someone signed my nipple.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
