guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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