She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
