I just saw a hot homeless man
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
