Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
