Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Alive.
So much puke
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
