he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
