you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
