there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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