it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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