The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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