you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
