soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
