he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
