oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize