I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
