Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
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its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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