Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
