Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
