that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's blow job season.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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