just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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