i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
