Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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