I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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