Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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