I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
