You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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