dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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