I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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