Dual....:-)
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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