You really coming over, don't trick.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i now understand why vodka
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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