I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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