This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
