cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
