Porn is love you can see.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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