My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
At least make sure they are 18
Why
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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