so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
PANTIES FOUND
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