OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
