I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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